Help Your Kids Write Well With a Favorite Read Aloud and 3 Simple Questions Any Parent Can Ask
Even though we’re willing to do anything to help our kids write well, figuring how to do that can be daunting and scary. (Please give yourself some grace since I am a professional writing teacher with 30+ years of experience and helping my kid with writing wasn’t always a rainbows and unicorns moment!)
However, I am offering you a way to help your kids that doesn’t involve any writing or parent/child stress. All you need to know is how to snuggle and read aloud.
While I love human writing teachers (of course!), books can be fabulous writing teachers, too!
“Constant reading will put you in a place where you can write eagerly and without self-consciousness. It also offers you a constantly growing knowledge of what has been done and what hasn’t, what is trite and what is fresh, what works, and what just lies there dying on the page.”
Step 1
Pick a book. Read it aloud.
Any book will do. It can be an old favorite, or a brand new book. It can be a picture book or a chapter book. It can be fiction or nonfiction. It can even be an article from a newspaper, magazine, or online journal. Letting your child pick the text will probably set you up for a greater chance of success.
Pick a text that’s not too far beyond your child’s comprehension level. With this read aloud, your goal is to have your child NOT working too hard to understand the content of the text.
You might wonder. Is it OK to snuggle up on the couch and read the text silently instead of reading it aloud? Of course, it’s always great to read in any way you can, but I think reading a text aloud is a different experience.
We hear writing differently than we see it on the page. Try it yourself with a book you’re currently reading. You will notice parts you didn’t notice before. You will feel the flow of the writing in your mouth and through your ears. (By the way, this is why reading your own writing aloud is a crucial step of the writing process. I’ll explore this further in a future blog post.)
Plus, if you read aloud a text that’s beyond your child’s current reading level, but in a sweet spot for their comprehension level (which is the zone where most picture books land since they are crafted to be read aloud), you will expose your kids to more sophisticated writing. It’s a win-win for everyone.
Finally, don’t sell this as a teaching moment. It’s a shared snuggle moment with your beloved child. Enjoy wherever good reading takes you and your child. Savor time together.
Step 2
Ask question #1: What stands out to you?
After you finish reading, ask “What part stands out to you?” You could also ask, “What’s your favorite part?” Your child can pick a word, phrase, sentence, paragraph, or entire page. If you’re reading with a younger child, they can also point to pictures. With picture books, the illustrations are as significant as the text.
Leaf back through the text and point to the part your child picks.
Read aloud the selected text again.
Often, you will notice the same text as your child. If you do, don’t pick another one. It’s important data when you both notice the same words on the page. It’s also not essential that you pick the same text. Be real and pick what made an impact on you. That’s important data since readers and writers have preferences for different kinds of writing, but often the writer will have done something to get your attention. (We will explore this in the next question.)
In all of my writing classes, we call text that stands out golden lines. After my students are familiar with this term, we ask question #1 by saying, “What’s your golden line?”
If you like, make up a name you like better than golden lines. Creating your own names is another opportunity for your child to have ownership over the process.
step 3
Read the room.
Now is a good time to read the energy of your child. If he/she is distracted or you feel any drama brewing, stop. Wait for another day to continue. This is a long game process.
Helping kids love writing with this process is easy, but it’s a long game process.
If your kid wants nothing to do with this approach to reading aloud, practice the entire process with your own reading, and do it in a public place so your kids see you valuing reading. Every once in a while (or at the dinner table!) talk with enthusiasm about a golden line you read. Make discussing golden lines a part of your normal conversation and routine. I cannot stress enough the significance of your role in this process. Watching you do this process is equally as important as your kid doing it themselves.
However, don’t push your kid or make this an enrichment assignment. You want this to be a fun, bonding activity and not an extension of school. Of course, between you and me, this is a bit of trickery since most teachers aren’t doing this and the whole process is big enrichment!
Step 4
Ask question #2: What did the writer do to get our attention?
It’s not an accident when writing gets your attention. It’s called craft. That’s the art of writing. The author placed words on the page in a specific way to create a response from you. Of course, the writer can’t dictate what your reaction will be—you are in charge of that—but good writers will use words, punctuation, and grammar to communicate their intended meaning.
A good way to begin—especially if you and/or your child can’t articulate why you love the writing (which is very common without practicing this process often)—is to examine your reaction to the writing.
Did you laugh?
Did you cringe?
Did you feel surprised?
What emotions did you feel? Happy? Sad? Shocked?
Did you feel a personal connection?
Was the writing beautiful?
Did the writing have a rhythmic or lyrical quality that your ear loved?
Did reading the words feel good in your mouth?
Did the text describe an idea that you’ve thought about before, but didn’t know how to express?
Did the words teach you a new fact or way of seeing the world?
Often, kids will answer question #2 with, “I don’t know.” Here are some suggestions for responding:
Pretend like you do know. What’s your hunch?
Admit that you don’t know either. Take a wild guess together.
If you do know, show your kid. Ask if they think your ideas are reasonable.
You don’t need a teaching credential or English degree to do this well.
At this point, lots of parents get a little nervous because they think they need to know all the creative writing, grammar, and punctuation answers. Not true. You are guiding your child as they grow a writing habit—which is noticing writing that gets their attention, and realizing that writers DO things to get our attention. That’s big. Really big.
Also, you can notice and describe something that gets your attention, but not know the English teacher name for it. Not a problem. Make up your own name. Your kids will remember it better anyway.
step 5
Ask question #3: Is this something you could do in your future writing?
Oh, the power of this question! This is when you want to read the room again.
Often—if I’m sensing a child wants to end the session—I just say, “Isn’t it cool that you could do the same thing in your writing!” Done. It’s powerful enough to even suggest this idea to your kids.
Or, if there is still lots of positive energy, consider doing one of the following:
Mark the page with a Post-it for future reference.
Print the freebie golden line bookmarks! Even if you never write on these, the power of suggestion is huge. Make many copies so you have a big supply. Then, whenever you begin a new book, use these bookmarks to remind you about the three questions. As shown in the third picture below, you can slip the directions that come with the bookmarks inside the book for reference.
Extra: You can write the line, phrase, or sentence on the back of the bookmark, too. Save all the bookmarks to make a collection.
ADVANCED: Create a new version of the line, sentence, or phrase with your own words and ideas, but following the same structure. Be careful. This is getting into teacher/school territory, but some kids will love doing this. Write with them to increase your chance of success.
step 6
There’s one more step and it’s a big one! Do the same process with your child’s writing.
Can you imagine how your child will feel when you tell him/her the golden lines you notice from his/her writing? Yowza! Talk about a kid who will be smiling ear-to-ear!
This is the best way to give writing response to your child. It’s all positive and doesn’t take a lot of expertise from you.
Here are the tweaks I would make when using the three questions with your child’s writing:
After listening to the writing and sharing the golden line (or lines), have a conversation articulating what the writer (your kid) did to get your attention. I’d even come up with a name for it. It can be an official writing term, or one you make up together.
Then, I would remind your child that he/she can do that again in his/her future writing because they are already doing it well right now. I often say, “This might be one of your signature writing moves!”
Turn the tables if you have any writing to share. Ask your child to listen for your golden lines. This helps your child write well because it’s an opportunity to train their ears to listen for what works on the page.
In Summary
Snuggle.
Read text aloud.
Tell each other the lines that stand out.
Ask, “What did the writer do to get our attention? Discuss without worrying whether you’re right or wrong. Just have a conversation and make your best guesses. If everyone has energy and attention, make up a name for the writing move that you notice in the golden line.
Remind your child, “Hey, you could do that in your writing, too!
I promise. Anyone can help their kids write well with these three questions.
Just do it over and over again. Make it a habitual part of your reading life. Worst case scenario, you get precious snuggle time with your kids. That’s a golden win in my book.
BONUS!
If you would like to practice this process, send me a piece of your child’s writing or a photo of a page from a book you’re reading, and I’ll write back with what I think is a golden line and why.
Your Next Steps
First, download The Minimalist Guide to Helping Your Kids Write Well With Read Alouds and 3 Questions Any Parent Can Ask. This download also includes the free bookmarks that help you remember to find golden lines that show us all how to be amazing writers.
Thanks so much,